Hi. It’s been over two months since my last post, which is one of the reasons I didn’t want to start a blog. I didn’t want you to be able to see when I’m slacking.

Well, I’m slacking a little. This is my effort at getting back into the groove of things, in life, in writing, and hopefully cleaning out my purse tonight. The tenth circle of hell might be hiding in there.

I want to talk about being yourself tonight. And not in a “oh, you must love yourself in every single possible way” sense. I mean more of a “you might screw up and that’s okay” vein.

As much as my perfectionist side would hate me for even thinking this, let alone admitting it, I am not faultless. Sometimes I am or was the problem. And that’s really hard to come to terms with when you’ve been a people-pleasing, anxious, “voted most optimistic in high school” person.

I’ve had a decent amount of therapy. I’ve talked with so many people about what it truly means to be a good person. Sure, there are parameters, but everyone has their own. I think you’re a horrible person if you won’t pet a stray cat in the street. You may think I’m horrible because I can’t parallel park very well. So we’re even.

The point? It’s different for everyone. I’m the villain in some stories and a passerby in others. You are, too. You’re human.

I’m also the heroine of some tales. So are you. I try to remember each role has shaped me. I’m growing, learning, and trying not to make the same mistakes.

And I think that’s all I can ask of myself. I’ve made it up to this point in my life. You have, too. *high-five* We’re all bumbling around, bumping into walls, breaking favorite mugs in porcelain sinks, forgetting car keys, and scuffing our knees.

We’re skipping, too– singing, giggling until those half-formed tears start at the corner of our eyes, letting out sighs of relief that we don’t have to choose chipped mugs or hilarity as our default settings.

With that, I close Coffee Thoughts #4–you get a chocolate chip cookie if you read my rambling till the end. And yes, I cheated with my coffee. It’s take out.

Thank you!